the more i think about it

Happiness is like a cliff in heaven overlooking hell. You're standing on the edge feeling sorry for the people down below then before you know it the wind blows you down. Eventually you work your way back up and on and on and on and on


the more i think about it the more life feels hollowed out and monotonous. every day is starting to feel like the last. the only thing that separates it from the previous day is how much more i noticed every day feeling the same. the one thing i've noticed with my internship is that what i'm doing now will be what i'm doing every day for the rest of my life.

while that will be fine someday later on when i'm ready to settle, currently i feel like i keep shooting myself in the foot. the only place i want to be is the road, but then knowing it's impossible tears me apart on the inside. it's a shame having so much more than so many people yet being similar in the sense that i still want something i may never get.

i'm starting to realize it's just human nature but i also have tried my best to abstain from general human nature, and avoid being just another disgusting animal. my only fear is that this goal is also something i want that i can never achieve.


the worst thing i've ever done is listen to other people, who made the same mistakes i am but keep it to themselves in order to seem "professional". but at what?

it's a pretty obvious fact that nobody is truly 100% content for a long period of time. anyone who says it is just a liar.